Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Catching up part 2: Stop fighting... now.

Here's what I tried to say on 2nd March, from my blog drafts folder.

2nd March:

Ah. Okay. So. I could write a long post (actually I could create an entire new blog - have considered this) about body image, the wider societal issues, my own personal experience. But I stopped there when I wrote this draft because it is such a big subject, broad, wide, deep, easy, difficult, interesting, boring, essential all at the same time. All I will say then is that it's true - I am so tired of fighting with my body. 

So I am working with it instead. I am being kind, loving and encouraging to it. That might sound funny but who cares - it's necessary and it's necessary for EVERYONE. I only have one of these things, and it's fucking good, better than I give it credit for. It gets me around, it digests my food, all kinds of behind-the-scenes stuff. And what have I been doing - I've been catching sight of it in the mirror and going, 'Oh god, really, you're doing THAT are you? With the skin and the lump there and the corned beef effect there?' 

I'm not doing it anymore! It's bullshit. I know I'm being all sweary to make my points but I think it's helping. 

If this at all resonates with you, try it. It won't be new information to you, of course - you've heard this kind of thing before, how you should pay yourself a daily compliment, love yourself etc. If that feels too far away from you, too ridiculous then fine - but really, let's stop with the fighting our bodies as a start. 

Catching up part 1: Lost time

Two months since my last post and two 'draft' blogs have been sitting on my dashboard waiting to be finished and published. Here's the first (I'll string this out by posting them separately):

22nd February:

This was about how I use time, or don't use time (but I guess that is still a use of time?) 

I was pissed off with myself for spending an hour before work surfing the internet (if people still say that) instead of writing, as I had set out to do. I got sucked and hooked into Facebook / Twitter / Buzzfeed quizzes to see how Northern I am (87%) what age I am according to my colour perception (18) what my name would be if I was born now (Caden). 

I stayed pissed off at myself for just the right amount of time: enough time to realise I needed to not do that again, at least for a bit (am human). I reduced how much I go online rapidly for about a week and have since then, pretty much, gone by these guidelines:

- Don't check the internet first thing in the morning (eat breakfast with no distractions, write in notebook before going online)
- Don't check it last thing at night (most nights have a 'cut off' around 6pm) 
- Be more mindful of social media use throughout the day (just gerroff it, luv)

It's not the first time I've curbed my use of FB etc, and I feel like a bit of a fool for even having / needing these 'rules', but I console myself with the thought that we are living in an era no one expected (there was that one guy though, wasn't there, he knew it was coming), we're overloaded with information, connections, opportunities all just a click away. My brain hasn't adapted yet. And I'm just really nosey.