Part of my day job recently has involved sitting alone behind a table of flyers in front of a building that's being refurbished. As well as the building being a really popular place to visit, to the left and right of me are two very popular bars, and there is a church just ahead. This has made for some interesting overhearings.
Two young guys, on their way into a bar:
"... the thing about her is she's incredibly disrespectful and also really hard to penetrate..."
(please be talking about her mind)
A man approaches me. He asks "Which way is wist?"
Me: "I'm not sure, is it is a bar or a -"
Him: "No, wist, which way is it?"
(I'm baffled. He's holding a camera and squinting.)
Him: "There's a sign over there says the wist church windows are impressive."
Me: "Ah! West. Okay. Er, I don't know, where's the sun...?"
I look up and consider where the sun sets and how you should never eat shredded wheat but he's walked away.
Man in a cagoule asks, "Are you having a bit of a refurby?"
He chats for a while about films, mostly Wolverine. When another customer approaches he says: "They're closed! They open in 2 weeks!" Which is handy, though a little shouty.
A couple stop a metre away from me and start snogging. When they break away, she asks:
"Do you have any mints?"
I have more but will leave it there for now. I must add there have also been some really lovely visitors to the leaflet table, people interested in what's going on in the building behind me and what kind of a day I have been having, and if I should be sitting that close to the all the building dust, and if I have some earplugs for when it gets really loud (I did).