Monday 18 January 2010

dear diary


I kept a diary from the age of 11 right through my teens and into my early 20s. They had been stored at Mum's, and now they are here in my living room, providing me with endless hours of entertainment, laughter, shame, and occasional sadness.

You can't quite tell from the photo but there are about 70 altogether. Most were written when I was between 12 and 18/19.

I'm rediscovering experiences I'd forgotten, some things I should have just never recorded, and revisiting people and times I don't know anymore.

I'm quite a nostalgic person, I like looking back, and it's amazing how certain parts of my teenage life still feel very part of me, and very close.

17 comments:

Sophie Playle said...

Wow, that's amazing! So many diaries. I kept a diary on and off throughout my teenage years (mostly 13-16ish). I probably only filled around three or four books. I hate reading them, though. I sound like such an idiot! Part of me wants to burn them in a dramatic ritual...

Alex said...

I love the look of all those books. I used to keep a diary when I was really young but I never put anything good in it. I perused through some lyric books from my early teens and, like Sophie, I just want to burn them.

Here's to nostalgia!
Hope you're well.

Jessica said...

I was bad for not filling them completely and trying to start over. I torn alot up - it was mostly about me hating brushing my teeth twice a day!

Ps. I am writing the guest post this week. Promise!

Rachel Fenton said...

Hullo you. Nostalgia's good and it just goes on getting better. I kept a diary and have similar thoughts about it. It's nice getting to know yourself at a distance through an old diary, I think.

claires inner world said...

There was a really interesting conversation about diaries on Midweek with Libby Purves on Radio 4 last Wed morning. You can still listen again, I think. I'd love to have such a complete consistent collection - mine are very sporadic. What a lovely thing to have, and to pass on for future generations at some stage.

Cyn said...

Almost a year ago, I filled up my first journal - and it wasn't even mine, but an unfinished (not even a quarter way through, but still) moleskine from a friend. It felt so good to reach that last page!

I wish I had developed a habit of, at least, semi-daily writing at a young age. I had/have plenty of journals and notepads, but rarely get past a page or two. The stuff I did write from high school and younger was such drivel... though there are a few gems of reason here and there.

It's those few lines that make looking back at those pages really worth it.

Jim Murdoch said...

Did you see the BBC series on diary writers, Dear Diary?

If not they are still available on the BBC iPlayer:

1. with Richard E Grant
2. with Mariella Frostrup
3. with Rory Bremner

I never kept a diary. Never seemed to have anything to say about anything.

Sorry to read about your mum BTW.

Teresa Stenson said...

Sophie - yes, there are so many 'cringe' moments as I read, especially from the serious teenage years, where the level of self absorbtion is at its most intense. But don't burn them!

Alex - the closest I've got to wanting to burn anything so far has been a book of 'poetry', everything in it rhymes and it's soooo bad. And so worthy - almost everything is about wanting to make the world a better place. Such accute social and political observations I made...

Jess - yeah, there seems to be a need to write boring detail, esp when I was in my early teens, and coincidentally often teeth-themed. 'Had a tooth out. Ow' etc. No rush for the guest post - I'll be getting in touch with everyone who's volunteered soon and sorting some dates out.

Rachel - yes, I agree. As I read through times when I was hurting I find myself saying 'poor girl' or similar out loud. I remember that time of being utterly heartbroken for months, and I feel for the girl who's writing, as if she's a younger friend.

Claire - thank you, I will check that out.

Cyn - how interesting to have finished someone else's diary - did they leave their entries/notes in?

Jim - thank you, and yes - I really enjoyed the last two but didn't catch the Richard E Grant episode, but I will be checking that out soon. It's a fascinating series.

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Jenn said...

I love this picture! I've got a huge box in my airing cupboard with diaries and notebooks from when I was thirteen up until the present day - there must be over a hundred of them and I'm still going strong. I don't often read my teenage years back to myself, and I'd be horrified at the thought of anyone else reading them either, but it sort of comforts me to know that as I go through my life I'm leaving a trail of paper behind me.

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Teresa Stenson said...

Hi Jenn- excellent that you're still adding to your airing cupboard stash. My diary-writing has taken different, less structured and less linear habits as I've got older, rather than one at a time I seem to always loads of notebooks on the go - ususually for different purposes/types of writing.

It is an odd experience reading the teenage ones, before I had any sensitivity to writing really, but that's kind of nice too, that I didn't care how I sounded or whether a word was right.

Jenn said...

I know what you mean. I feel free not to do my 'best' writing in my journals - which means they can be as sprawling and badly spelt as I like. It isn't hard work, and it reminds me of what I love about writing when the day job writing is fiddly and difficult.

Have you seen the BBC series on at the moment about diaries? I just watched the one about Jo Orton on BBC I player - presented by Richard E Grant. It's really good.

Teresa Stenson said...

That's the only one I haven't seen, Jenn. Must catch it soon, thanks for the reminder.

Jenn said...

Doh - just realised one of your previous commenters already let you know about it. Still, it's really good.

Teresa Stenson said...

Have you seen the Mariella Frostrup one? She speaks to Sue Townsend, who I really love the work of, and admire her too - as I understand it she has very little sight left, what an impact that must have on her as a writer and a reader too.

Adrian Mole's diaries are works of comic genius. I have an alter ego who writes a fake diary and she owes much to Sue Townsend.

Jenn said...

Nope - not seen that one yet, but will look out for it the next time I'm rooting about the i player site.