A few weeks ago I lit this candle
which I had been 'saving' for some yet to happen purpose, like winning a writing prize or finishing some big piece of work. I hadn't won anything, or finished anything, but decided to light the candle to celebrate what can be done.
I haven't written much these past few weeks. As much as I escape into writing I also need a calm headspace to operate in, and Christmas brings about turbulence and demands like no other time of year because, as some of you will know, it also marks the time I lost my Mum, 2 years ago.
I had a sense that I wanted to make something in some way so I set about making christmas cards, mostly for the people I really appreciate knowing but don't see very much. It took me a week, and a fair amount of sequins and gold pens and glitter paint. Sometimes I sat with a big pair of headphones on and sang out loud as I stuck stars onto glittery skies. It felt good.
Now, 2 days after Mum's anniversary, I suddenly feel calm again. It's like getting over another hurdle. For the first time in a while I feel optimistic, and rested, and loved, and ready to face Christmas. And beyond that, the New Year, and all that can be done.
Whatever this time of year means to you, I hope you can find the calm in it all.