Thursday, 17 November 2011

Blog-o-fear

I have become a hestitant blogger. If I don't have any writing news, I don't know what to write (here). Or I do, but there is a voice in my head saying, 'Whogivesashit?'.

So apologies for a real lack of blogs posts here these past few months.

Does anyone else have this problem? Any easy bloggers who don't have that voice there? Or maybe you do but you push it to one side? I think I've done that in the past.

Maybe it's like a lot of stuff, if you think too much about whogivesashit you realise not many people do, or you realise how insignificant the thing you're considering is.

And then you loop back round to, well, just do it - if peopledontgiveashit they'll stay away, right? I reckon it stems from a fear of being judged, like - why are you talking about how many words you've written or what kind of notebooks you use in a public place???

I should just get over myself. I'm being far too British in my hestitating and now far too American in my searching for answers. (Stereotyping a go-go.)

Next post will be awesome.

9 comments:

Miles said...

Hey Treeeeesa, how goes?

I have known this feeling well, and can say that in my opinion, if YOU give a shit about it then it's worth writing.

I used to think no-one read my blog until I looked at the viewing figures and realised they do, even if people rarely comment. But then, I rarely comment on blogs I read, I just nod and think, 'Hmm, yes, interesting.'

There's so much to read online and so many blogs and feeds and people don't always have time to, and if they do, they don't have the time or inclination to comment because of the same things you're talking about; fear of being judged. Or just good old apathy.

In the end though, you can't not say things for fear of being judged or ignored; what a terrible world it would be if we all edited ourselves quiet. Maybe not if *I* did, but for most people it would (that's some self-deprecating British humour which doesn't require feedback).

Write what you like, enjoy the process and fuck the feedback or lack of same, I say! If you feel like saying it, say it.

Much love xxx

Teresa Stenson said...

Hello Face. Thank you Face.

I think my hesitation comes from blogging being a close relative of social networking. And it feels quite indulgent, but then as a reader I enjoy the posts where the writer gives you a bit of themselves.

Good advice, Millsy. Thank you. Hope you're well, I haven't seen you for a while, not since you spotted me on Micklegate at the EXACT same time that Gandalf bumped into Frodo.

"Maybe not if *I* did, but for most people it would (that's some self-deprecating British humour which doesn't require feedback)." - Very funny.

See you soon xx

Miles said...

Just do what you feel like doing, don't let the way you perceive it'll be taken stop you. Naffers to that.

Yes. Naffers.

I'm very well ta, very creative, very skint. Pop round for a cuppa sometime. Although, you know... warn me first. I might be staring out the window with murderous intent and have to calm down first.

M x

Sophie Playle said...

Hi Teresa,

I think a lot of bloggers can relate to this, including myself.

Remember, you don't HAVE to write a blog. If you're not enjoying it, try something else. On the other hand, remember that it isnt ALL about the reader, as many articles suggest. It is also about you. Your writing habit, your outlet, your record of thoughts etc.

Write about what interests you. What about something you have an opinion on. Look at the news in subjects that interest you, in the publishing world for example, and write your slant on them. Go to events and write up your experience. Write book reviews, theatre reviews, film reviews. Search the Internet for inspiring stuff, and share it. Write something controversial! Remember that you won't have everyone agree with you, but who does?! By taking more risks you open yourself up to a loyal following who is interested in what you say. If you're too nervous to write anything bold, then chanes are people won't be that interested....

Just some of my thoughts!

Essie Gilbey said...

This post is precisely why I follow your blog. You have the same hopes and fears, ups and downs that all of us bloggers and writers have. But you're able to write about them with honesty, humour and charm.

:-)

Dan Purdue said...

I know what you mean. Some things can seem like a great idea, really unique and "you", and you can't wait to share it, but once they're committed to paper (or a screen) it suddenly feels like you've just shown an embarrassing bit of your body to a close and trusted friend and they've secretly taken a photo of it and posted it on Facebook.

Recently I penned a blog post about my passion for grammar, only to have somebody come on and tell me I was worse than Hitler. Well, not in so many words, but you could so tell that's what she was getting at.

Anyway, the point is that as a writer you need to be able to open your heart and trust in the slightly depressing fact that nobody is as unique as they'd like to think. If you've been genuine and honest with yourself, what you've written will resonate with others.

I find the limited time I have available to write means I can only really crank out one blog post a week, and sometimes not even that. It does add pressure because I assume that the three people who sometimes read my posts are thinking, "Oh, he only posts every ten days or so, he obviously considers what he writes to be earth-shatteringly important." When it's just a random thought or two or a link to something I felt was interesting, I feel like I'm not living up to the imaginary expectations of my largely imaginary audience.

It's nonsense, though. Nobody cares too much about what anybody blogs. If they like it, they'll read it; if they really like it, they'll share it; if they don't, they'll ignore it. No big deal, either way.

Teresa Stenson said...

Miles - yes cuppa soon, let's x

Hi Sophie - thanks for your list of ideas, and for the reminder - if you don't enjoy it, you don't HAVE to. Bloody good advice. I do enjoy it. I just need to open my mind to it again. Thanks.

Hi Essie - well, wow, that's really nice (and confidence boosting), thank you. I often think of you and your blog when I'm noting down my 'eavesdroppings'. (Everyone should go to Essie's blog for maximum over-hearings.)

Oh, hello there, Hitler, how nice of you to comment (smile) (that's me smiling, not an instruction). I'm always impressed by your posts, Dan, because they seem to 'contain' stuff. Plus I'm waiting to see what happens with 'Ten Four'. See, you have a bit of framework there, a goal of some kind, that's good on a blog. And what do you mean I'm not unique??? Is this because I suggested you might not be able to follow your ballerinia dream???

myfanwyfox said...

I feel exactly the same, which is why my own blog is so eratic - not just in frequency but content and voice. Why voice should be so effing hard I have no idea - fiction or poetry fine, FB wittering fine but ME and I just want to hide. A bit like Dan says - too exposed. Anyway, if you can't do it, there's no hope for the rest of us, sista.

Teresa Stenson said...

'Sista' - I like it! It is about being exposed, isn't it, sort of rests easier with some people, less with others. A strange pursuit. Interestingly, I always think your blog 'sounds' like you, so the voice is there, nay bother. Sista.